Do I give too much of myself? YES, I do! I saw my mom do it, all the brown women in Queens do it, and all the people I admired in public service do it. So naturally, I give and give too.
I don’t mind giving, but it feels bad when people don’t give back in the way you anticipate. Every time I think I’ve learned to not give away too much of myself, I inevitably repeat the same pattern. In the last year alone, I gave
-professional and philanthropic endorsements to peers who wanted my backing but didn’t take a minute to return emails after repeated outreach
-friendship to men and women in need of support who later became distant and detached
-hours to community events which included folx who didn’t bother to ask what I needed as a fellow member
-leadership expertise to organizations who disregarded my requests for additional support and $
I love giving, but all this giving has left me feeling confused, bitter, and unbelievably tired.
Per my frustration, I took time to reflect. I circled back to the big question I asked at the start of the year Who do you think you are? and reaffirmed that:
- I am strong and courageous.
- My time is worth more than I let on.
- I should let go.
- I am enough.
I can’t control what other people do, but I can control how I DO ME, so I’m gonna refrain from giving too much away and start pouring more energy into me!
What does more me-time look like? Crunching fall leaves, sipping chai, savoring fried bologna on buttered toast, watching reruns of Super Soul Sunday, and doing the running-man to Milli Vanilli’s Girl You Know It’s True. Easy, invigorating, and viable.
Since it’s November aka the most popular month for giving, I’m going to challenge you with this question:
Will you be willing to give more to yourself?
Take all the time you need to get to your answer, and when you figure it out, jot down all your me-time magical activities so you that you don’t forget. Then, begin to plug each pleasurable activity into your calendar before the year ends.
If the mere thought of giving to yourself or adding one more thing to your calendar amidst this holiday season sends you into a panic, here’s another alternative:
DO YOU December—a chance to give your mind, body, and spirit the attention it’s been yearning for.
Consider this experience as the ultimate self-care treat designed to melt away your stress and help you refresh so that you can get back into your flow.
My exclusive offer, only available for December includes:
- One 75-minute transformational coaching session with me by phone or video chat
- Support developing a concrete self-care strategy that you can turn to anytime so that you hold onto that strength you regained for rest of 2018
- Accountability with a one-week follow-up by email to ensure that you stay recharged and don’t drown [again].
If you’re ready to give more to you so that you’re no longer wiped out, contact me.
Giving you permission to DO YOU,