It’s 2019, and while I oughta begin with some motivational mojo to get you going for the new year, in its place, I’d like to address the elephant in the room—FEAR.
Yes, that’s right. When you’re embarking on a goal like losing weight, taking the next step with your partner, growing your impact, advancing your career, making more me-time, or increasing your wealth, you gotta take note of the FEAR who wants to crash your party…
…fear is like that irritating person who shows up to your event—uninvited and ignorant of the cues that you’re putting out there to signal that it’s time to GO.
Fear is inevitably going to show up, either in a little way or in a big way. As I shared during my remarks in a room filled with powerful women on New Year’s Day, my fear tends to show up as a large, grey, murky, masculine cloud. He tells me “YOU CAN’T…” every single darn time I’m about to start something, but you know what? Instead of fighting him, I embrace him. I START AFRAID.
I start afraid by feeling sad, then mad, then anxious, and when I let it all come to the surface THEN I
- give him space to tell me all the things I should be worried about. After I hear him out,
- I shake out the sting of his words (because he’s a pro at hurting my feelings),
- tell a friend what happened to assure myself that I’m not completely coo-coo, and
- tune into my inner wisdom for the real truth–my truth.
It’s not always easy or pretty, and I’ve spent years practicing, but when I do these things, I’m able to tone down the fear and eventually move to a place of feeling COMPLETELY UNAFRAID.
My approach might be different from yours, so I’m curious:
When FEAR shows up to your party, what will you do?
There’s no right or wrong. A few approaches I’ve seen my clients take towards addressing their fears include:
- “Go **** Yourself”
- “Ain’t nobody got time for you”
- Throwing objects at it
- Thanking it and sending it to the closet that no one ever opens
Whatever tactic you choose, just know that it might take some time, but no matter how afraid you start, you have the power to change it.
And in case you started afraid, but still can’t stop fear from wreaking havoc in your party room, then I’d be honored to hop on a quick call to explore what’s coming up for you—book a 30-minute slot on my calendar and we’ll dig right in. -Shanita